Clearing the Clutter: Tackling Outer Obstacles in Resilience Coaching
Some walls are built from within—limiting beliefs, distorted self-perception, fear.
Others rise from the outside: a sick loved one, critical coworkers, chronic busyness, a string of missed connections.
Both matter.
Both shape reality.
And in resilience coaching, both are addressed—with grace, strategy, and wisdom.
Let’s talk about outer obstacles—the stuff in life that drains energy, blurs focus, and sabotages follow-through.
1. What Are Outer Obstacles—and Why Must We Name Them?
Outer obstacles are the external challenges that get in the way of forward movement. They’re not inside your client’s mindset—but they definitely affect it. If inner lies are like faulty wiring, outer obstacles are the storms pounding on the walls.
Examples include:
- Life-altering events (grief, divorce, unexpected relocation)
- Many time demands (juggling work, family, ministry)
- Many focus demands (digital distractions, information overload)
- Distracting or toxic people
- Critical voices that discourage growth
- Health issues that limit capacity
- Poor organization or planning systems
- Lack of boundaries that lead to overcommitting
- Lack of healthy connection or supportive relationships
- Lack of resources (time, finances, tools)
- Lack of accountability to stay on track
Sometimes the obstacle is a relational drain. Sometimes it’s too much to do. Sometimes it’s no one noticing the burden the client carries. But each one blocks progress—unless addressed.
As coaches, we become architects of clarity—helping clients sort, simplify, and strengthen their external world.
2. The Two Discoveries Every Client Must Make
Before rushing into solutions, the coach gently invites the client to make two honest discoveries:
A. What Is Draining Your Life Right Now?
This identifies where energy, time, and peace are leaking.
Ask:
- What task or responsibility leaves you most tired?
- Who drains your joy without adding value?
- What commitments no longer serve your purpose?
B. What Area(s) of Your Life Need More Investment?
This pinpoints where vitality, healing, or connection must be restored.
Ask:
- Where do you feel most empty or neglected?
- Where do you sense God calling you to pay attention?
- What rhythms would help you recover your strength?
These two questions lay the groundwork for redefining priorities.
3. Using the Life Balance Wheel: From Scattered to Steady
The Life Balance Worksheet or “Wheel of Life” is a powerful visual coaching tool. It helps clients assess key life domains:
- Spiritual life
- Health and wellness
- Relationships
- Finances
- Work and vocation
- Fun and recreation
- Personal growth
- Service and mission
When clients see which areas are overextended and which are undernourished, patterns emerge:
- The client who says “yes” to everyone but hasn’t rested in weeks.
- The high achiever excelling in career, but disconnected from joy or friendship.
- The caregiver so devoted to others they’ve stopped caring for themselves.
Balance doesn’t mean equality. It means conscious alignment with your values, season, and call.
4. Coaching in Action: Walking a Client Through External Clutter
Let’s look at a sample dialogue with a client buried under time demands and emotional fatigue:
Coach: “Let’s step back. What area of your life feels most depleted right now?”
Client: “Honestly? My health and my prayer life. I’ve been surviving, not living.”
Coach: “That’s a sacred realization. What’s currently draining your energy?”
Client: “Meetings, phone calls, trying to be there for everyone.”
Coach: “What might it look like to set some holy boundaries and begin reinvesting in your body and soul again?”
Through gentle, reflective questions, the coach becomes a mirror and a map—revealing not only the chaos, but the path back to peace.
5. Naming It to Reframe It
Clients often feel ashamed to admit when life is spinning. But resilience coaching gives them language. And once something is named, it can be reframed.
From:
“I’m failing at everything.”
To: “I’m carrying too much—and it’s time to delegate.”
From:
“There’s no time for rest.”
To: “I haven’t said no to anyone in months—and now it’s costing me.”
From:
“This season is destroying me.”
To: “This season is exposing what I must realign.”
Grace meets clients where they are. Coaching helps them move forward anyway.
6. Outer Obstacle ≠ Permanent Barrier
One of the most powerful truths resilience coaches communicate is this:
“Just because something is real doesn’t mean it’s permanent. You get to choose how you respond, re-prioritize, and rebuild.”
Coaching offers structure for that response:
- Clear prioritization
- Boundary training
- Delegation plans
- Accountability check-ins
- Emotional processing
- Resilient reframing of demands
When clients regain control over the external, their internal strength returns too.
Final Thought: Don’t Just Clear the Calendar—Clear the Cluttered Soul
Outer obstacles are real. But they are not all-powerful.
With compassionate support, sharp questions, and a Spirit-led process, clients can:
- Redesign their rhythms
- Reclaim their energy
- Realign their environment with their vision
Resilience coaching doesn’t remove all obstacles. But it empowers people to rise above them with clarity, courage, and Christ-centered focus.
