Overcoming What’s Within: Confronting Inner Obstacles in Resilience Coaching
Before we can rise in life, we must reckon with what’s buried inside. Resilience coaching is not just about helping people take action—it’s about helping them examine the soil of their soul, uproot lies, and plant truth.
Most people aren’t stuck because they lack opportunity.
They’re stuck because of what they believe.
1. The Power of the Inner World
Proverbs 23:7 reminds us that our lives follow the direction of our thoughts—especially the ones we quietly rehearse in the heart.
Not surface-level opinions.
Not public affirmations.
But inner beliefs.
In resilience coaching, we don’t just treat behavior—we trace it.
If a person believes:
- “I’m not good enough,” they’ll avoid opportunities.
- “Nothing ever works for me,” they’ll sabotage breakthroughs.
- “God is disappointed in me,” they’ll avoid intimacy with Him.
Coaches are called to gently expose the internal frameworks that lead to cycles of discouragement.
2. Inner Obstacles: The Invisible Barriers
What are inner obstacles?
They’re not time or talent issues. They’re mindset strongholds—internal lies, fears, and patterns that shut down freedom.
These may include:
- Jumping to conclusions: “She didn’t reply—she must be upset.”
- Narrow-mindedness: “There’s only one way this can work.”
- Blame game: “If they hadn’t hurt me, I’d be further by now.”
- Personalizing everything: “If that didn’t go well, it must mean I’m a failure.”
- Making mountains of molehills: Emotional overreaction drains focus.
- Black-and-white thinking: “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all.”
- Blocking out past victories: Forgetting what God has already done.
Each of these quietly erodes resilience—until coaching sheds light.
3. Identifying Inner Lies: The First Step to Freedom
The book The Lies We Believe highlights five areas where beliefs often turn toxic:
- Self Lies: “I’m worthless.” “I don’t matter.”
- Worldly Lies: “Success equals happiness.” “Busyness is productivity.”
- Marital Lies: “My partner should complete me.” “If it’s hard, it must be wrong.”
- Distortion Lies: “People always let me down.” “I’ll never change.”
- Religious Lies: “God loves others more than me.” “Grace is earned.”
In resilience coaching, we don’t argue—we ask:
“Where did you first start believing that?”
“Is it true—or does it just feel true?”
“What would change if you believed something different?”
The truth really does set us free. But only when we’re willing to confront the lie first.
4. The Role of the Coach: Asking, Not Accusing
Dr. Gary Collins once said,
“When coaches work with the client’s mindset, they work with the greatest potential for helping the client to develop.”
Our job as coaches isn’t to give answers, but to create holy curiosity.
Powerful questions might include:
- “What belief is fueling that behavior?”
- “What’s a different way of looking at this situation?”
- “If God were coaching you right now, what would He say?”
- “Where is fear speaking louder than truth?”
These questions aren’t just mental—they’re spiritual. They invite the coachee to take back territory in the mind.
5. Mind Renewal: Putting Away Childish Thinking
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child… but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” —1 Corinthians 13:11
Some mindsets that served us in one season cannot follow us into the next.
Resilience coaching invites the client into maturity:
- From shame to sonship
- From fear to faith
- From reactivity to responsibility
Romans 12:2 puts it clearly: transformation begins with renewing the mind. Not behavior modification. Not grit alone. Mindset renewal.
6. The Coaching Conversation: Inner Work in Real Time
A resilience coach listens patiently—because breakthrough often arrives slowly, disguised as a sigh, a pause, or a whisper.
The conversation centers around this journey:
- What do you see as needing to change?
- How are you going to make that change?
- What’s the first step toward that change today?
These questions reframe the inner narrative—and restore agency.
Remember: clients aren’t empty vessels to be filled.
They are wells waiting to be unblocked.
7. Final Reflection: If It’s Not True, It’s Not Freedom
Every limiting belief keeps the client in a kind of invisible prison.
But resilience coaching throws open the gates.
Because when truth gets into the mind, the heart follows. And when the heart shifts, life shifts.
Your role is sacred: to midwife renewal, guide discovery, and cultivate courage—not by shouting truth at your client, but by walking with them until they see it for themselves.
